Wisdom

Once again I feel happy. My suddenly awful late afternoon turned from angry frustration to a nice opportunity practice my old tricks and learn something new. I have a comedy of errors, my own bad judgement, and a broken crapper to thank for this.

*After I I tried to add the new universal toilet flapper, on the right, I broke the flush valve.*

Just before I was ready to go for a roller ski after work today, I found my universal toilet flapper had broken. I thought I could simply replace this $7 part and get on with my day. This looked like a simple win.

So I dashed to Ace Hardware, got a generic new flapper, got close to getting it one. Then, in a blink of the eye and maybe too much force, I snapped the part of the toilet called the flush valve.

This part is important. You can’t flush your toilet without it, and it allows the water a path to flow from the toilet tank to the toilet bowl.

Well, after some cussing and kvetching, I gave myself a few moments to think. I told myself that things do break. I also allowed myself the grace to accept the truth that I’m allowed to give myself a break when they do fall apart.

I also know from so many life experiences that a problem is always an opportunity to learn what you didn’t know.

The flush valve is one of the main features of toilets most of us with a flush toilet use every day, and sometimes they break and have to be replaced.

In this case I also recognized my anger on a hot day was tied breaking up my beloved and shackling routine. I know this well.

For me the solution is to do what works. When I hit peak frustration, which I hit fast, I turned to best solutions. For me that is: taking a walk, cursing out loud a number of times, eating a good meal, listening to classical music, and then rationally determining a solution.

After my meal I spent some time having fun learning about a device I use countless times a day, the beloved flush valve. In short, I have now learned that flush valves in toilets frequently break. They should be replaced about very six years, and mine was due for failure.

Looking at my broken valve I can see it was ripe for falling apart. This was decrepit for sure. The problem was actually not my failed repair. It was something meant to happen.

As for the solution, I have several options. I may try to fix it myself, wait for my landlord (and get a lecture), or hire a plumber. These are called choices. I get to pick. I also am pretty happy I learned from cool YouTube videos how to replace a flush valve. It’s not a simple job, but it is a doable thing.

I just celebrated my birthday. The day always gives me pause. It forces me to think about what I am doing with my life and what I have learned.

I thought about the important things that emerged over the 10-year increments that I have lived on this world. Here are a few of the big “aha’s” that stuck with me and have made me a better and smarter person.

Decade 1 (0-9 years): This was a scrappy period. I learned that I could take care of myself even in situations that were unpleasant. The resilience I learned as a kid has given me the ability to overcome challenges and persevere when the going gets tough. This was a great life skill to master, and I was lucky I had the (mis)fortune to internalize this lesson early on.

Decade 2 (10-19): This was the period when I learned from mentors. My greatest teachers were guys who gave me a chance and allowed me to work for them, and get real-world life skills and also much needed cash. I was lucky to have two very generous business owners and bosses. Everything good I learned about how to run a business I learned from these two men, who decided to give me a lucky break.

Decade 3 (20-29): This was the decade I first learned about the world first-hand and saw how much we all have in common. No matter what country I found myself or how poor or wealthy the residents were, people were genuinely good to me if I treated them with respect and an eagerness to learn about their culture, language, customs, and religious traditions. The world really is a wonderful teacher.

Decade 4 (30-39): This was the decade I learned that life can provide you wild surprises, and what matters in the face of curve balls is how well you deal with rapid change and crisis. I reinvented myself a few times during this decade and did not allow these sideways detours to keep me from moving forward.

Decade 5 (40-49): This was the time when I learned again about the meaning of life, from the example of a wonderful person I knew who taught everyone around him how to live a good life. I made some adjustments for the better and doubled down on my goals to live even more purposefully than before.

Decade 6 (50 … ): This is an open chapter, and I am learning more about letting slowly go of people I know and care about. But this particular journey this decade has only just begun, and there will be time to write the final chapter many years later.

The Path to Wisdom

Inspirations, Memories, and Revelations

What I learned from a flush valve failure and a broken toilet

Learning by the decades